The Cowardly Paladin and the Slave Queen (Chapter 1, raw unedited)

A bell dinged as I entered the armorers shop. The smell of leather and hot steel wafted over me as I closed the door.


“Teal!” The gruff voice of my favorite, (and only) armorer brought a smile to my face.


“Here I am.” I took out a voucher from the Order of the Brotherhood. “You have some armor for me, Jeph?”


Jeph nodded. “Congratulations on your promotion. Got your shiny new paladin armor all oiled up, and calibrated.”


My smile widened. In a world full of horses and carriages, and rudimentary firearms, this armor was state of the art-ificer. “I trust it will keep me safe?”


Jeph stepped around the counter with a chuckle. “For a man of the faith, you doubt me?” He waved with one hand. “Come on, try it on.”


“I trust in my God, not man.” I followed him to the interior of his shop, the workspace. Hanging from a frame was the full body armor.


“Each plate is at least an inch thick.” Jeph pointed to the forearm. “Even the thinnest parts. No arrows, or most small caliber bullets will penetrate this.”


The chest piece was raised over the head, while the arms and legs were hinged open. I could lay back into it and recite the pass spell, and it would close around me in a protective hug.


“What magical tuning is it up to?” Depending the grade, or the spell caster who enchanted it, my mobility could be from severely hindered.


“Wearing it will feel like a second skin, but don’t expect to outrun a horse. What did you expect for a rookie?”


I sucked on my lip. “Well.. I thought my years as a healer would have counted for something.”


Jeph let out a hearty laugh. “And you don’t think this reflects that? Get in, and see if you’re still complaining once it’s activated.”


My off duty clothes were somewhat loose, pants and a brocade shirt. Jeph must’ve seen the concern on my face. “You’ll need to take off anything that’s loose. It could get caught in the movements.”


I sighed and stripped off my clothes. The heat of the forge in the room kept me from shivering. In moments I was down to my skivvies. “You’re sure you got this fitted for my body?”


“Six, oh, two hundred pounds? Yeah. Don’t worry, you’d have to be some kind of barbarian if you needed a larger size. Trust me, you want it tight.”


My bare feet padded along the cold stone floor. Taking my position in front of the armor, I stepped back, left foot, then right foot into it. Then left arm, right arm. Finally I leaned my back against the back plate. “What’s the pass spell?”


“Your oath.”


“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I’d be reciting my oath every single time I get in this thing? Are they joking?


“Beats me, I made it to their specs. Probably so you don’t forget it.”


In a sigh of acceptance, I took a moment to still my mind, and ponder the seriousness of this oath.


“I, Joshua ‘Teal’ Stead, have sworn a soul binding oath. I will be strong, and defend the weak. I will be swift, and protect the helpless. I will be courageous, and fight with valor. I will be righteous, and resist evil wherever it may be. I will protect the law, and uphold justice. Should I fail in these, my life is forfeit.”


Of all the things in that vow, the courageous one had me worried. Fortunately, I was permitted to be reasonable and retreat when the odds were suicidal.


As I finished the recital, the legs closed with a snap, then the chest, and arms. As the chest lowered, the helmet was snugly fastened to it. I lifted the clasp, and slipped it over my head.


Inside the helmet was a read out of my heart rate, my spirit particle count, a magical detection radar circle, and a detect good/evil overlay. “Oh wow, I don’t have to cast my own magic detection, or good and evil sense.” I smiled, though Jeph couldn’t see it.


“I wouldn’t know. Anyway, take it for test drive. If I don’t see you, I’ll assume it worked out.” Jeph patted the back, then hit a button on the scaffold, and the armor released from its ‘cradle’.


My first step was cautious, but after feeling zero resistance, I immediately understood the ‘second skin’ description.


“Thanks for your business. Don’t forget to bring that shotgun in for tuning if it doesn’t fire to your tastes.”


I waved, then carefully tiptoed through the armor shop like a troll in a potion store. The extra bulk could be a downside, but the upsides were far to numerous to turn this equipment down.


Outside the shop, immediately I caught everyone’s attention, fear, and awe alike. Everyone moved out of my way, and no one stopped me to ask questions. The Order of the Brotherhood had a mixed reputation. No one likes cops, until you need one.


I somewhat enjoyed the distance. Everyone seemed to be on their best behavior as I walked by. Someone squabbled over the price of bread with the shop owner, but the moment they heard the clunk of my footsteps, they quickly agreed to the price and moved along.


I nearly broke into laughter, since I’d left my weapons at home. All this for a suit of armor?


A mischievous thought crossed my mind. What if I went down to the slums? What kind of reaction would I get there?


It took an hour to navigate to the poorest district of Samuel’s Gate. This city would take a day to fully cross, to get an idea of size.


The slums were a far cry from the market district or the residential districts. Here, the people straight fled from me, shutting up shutters and hiding around corners. The clunks of my footsteps warned everyone long before I would see them.
I sighed. “What did I expect?”


As I went deeper, one shop remained open. Curiosity gripped me.


A man, well dressed and distinctly out of place stood at the counter of his booth. “Good day, paladin.”


My detect good and evil overlay highlighted him a yellow. Neither good, nor evil. Most humans were. Even most criminals were. Only the truly abhorrent were red, and only the truly saintly were highlighted green. Even so, this man’s yellow was a bit more orange than most I’d seen today. My suspicions were set on alert.


“What kind of business do you run?” I’d be able to see fluctuations in his hue if he lies or tells the truth. If he’s evading taxes, or doing something more nefarious, I’d at least have a clue.


“I’m in the business of pleasing people. Perfectly legal, perfectly above board. What brings a paladin to my shop? Perhaps you’d like to do business?”


The hue didn’t fluctuate. The issue with certain types of liars is they can tell half truths. I held my silence.


The man held out his business certificate. “See? Taxes all paid. You look like a man who could use a good pack mule. Some help carrying your bags, or any of those magical items you lot like to hunt for.”


I considered my words carefully. Before I could speak, he continued.


“Wouldn’t it be nice if your bags were carried, while you worried about protecting yourself, and your property?”


“Out with it, merchant. What’s your game?” I’d try to intimidate him. Thank my God that he couldn’t see my worried expression.


He drew back the curtain behind him. The helmet adjusted quickly, revealing cages, with people in them. Elves, shortlings, humans, beastlings, dogs, and cats alike, all shackled or collared.


Revulsion hit me. My soul burned, screaming ‘break the cages immediately,’ but as soon as I thought to take action, my soul burned again that this business was legal. I could do nothing. I swallowed hard.


The well dressed man smiled. “As you can see, I offer a wide range of the finest products. Each of them humanely sourced. I’d be willing to give you a deal. How about 30 silver for one of the ones that walk on two legs?”


I clenched my jaw, continually grateful for my helmet. “May I inspect your stock?” If I went home and dug under my mattress, I could probably buy several, then release them. But if I wasn’t thorough, they’d just end up captured again.


“But of course.” He motioned for me to come behind the counter.


I tromped over, and inspected each slave. Yellow, yellow, yellow… Most of them were in decent shape. Yellow, yellow, yellow … Green. Green?!


“What’s the story of this one?” I pointed to a human woman.


“She’s premium stock. We found her off the coast, in the archipelago nation. Shipwrecked, floating at sea, my supplier picked her up. Saved her life, if not for us. She doesn’t speak much. Obedient though. Very demure.”


“Your stock seems to be in good condition …” The woman would be fine until I came back with more money.


“Good healthy stock sells. If they respond to the carrot, great, but we aren’t afraid to use the stick either. One way or another, they fall in line.”


“So how much for this ‘premium stock?’”


The man rubbed his hands together. “For you, one gold coin.”


“That’s a month’s salary!” Absurd!


“A month’s salary for lifetime of servitude. This one is an asset, and one you’ll find well worth the investment.”


I didn’t even bring that much. Now I would certainly need to return home. I’d be emptying my entire cash on hand until my next pay day just for that one woman alone. But out of every single person I’d bumped into today, from the moment I put on this armor, she alone was green.


“I’ll return. Don’t sell her.” I handed him my entire coin purse. “Hold onto this until I return, I’ll get you your gold coin.”


The man chuckled as he took my coin purse. “I wouldn’t dare cross a paladin.”


I didn’t waste any time, and charged through the slums, back to the crowded main market street. There wasn’t much I could do, I couldn’t just barge through the crowd without injuring someone. Wading through was the only feasible option.


As I passed the armory shop, I heard a crack of thunder. The earth shook violently, and the sky seemed to rupture. I looked up.


Bright red outlined the being that seemed to crawl out of a rift in the sky. The dragon with five heads screeched. The sound was ear piercing, even with my helmet muffling it.


“The prophecy … It’s too soon!” My heart sank.

There wasn’t time to think about who or why, or even what. My weapons were back at home. My soul burned, remembering the woman. But without my gear, and that money, I couldn’t resort to stealing, or I’d have to return her after the emergency. This had to be done right, and by the book.


It was at that moment, I began to pray.



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